More stories from Dr. Betty Frain
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This past week the Military kids I’m working with spoke their minds & shared what was in their hearts through writing and performing a play and then reciting poetry.
A new study by the RAND Corporation surveyed the effect of deployments on children.— It shows that multiple lengthy wartime deployments are taking a toll on kids.
Their problems deepen with longer and more frequent deployments.— They don’t get used to it.— They don’t “get into adjustment mode” as many had hoped.— They have significantly more difficulties in school, with family and peers.
The Iraq and Afghan wars are creating an unparallel time for military families.— Multiple back -to -back deployments did not happen in previous wars.— During Viet Nam, there were 3.4 million in the armed forces, mostly young, unmarried childless men who served 2 years and got out.— The most recent statistics from the Pentagon informs us that the all-volunteer force is made up of 1.4 million men and women. One half are married, 40 percent have children under 5.— There are now 1.3 million children to care for.
It is my job to help out with these children who are struggling with repeated deployments.
My assignment in DuPont WA is into its 6th week.
The children and I have come to know and care about each other very well, a great advantage of being here for more than the usual 6 weeks or two months.
This week a small group of 4th and 5th grade students performed a play they had written called: “ Too Many Chores”. Ten children (nine girls and one boy) met twice a week for over a month so they could perform for their parents, siblings and teachers at a special deployment dinner at the school.— The commander even came to the event.
The children met for our dress rehearsal about and hour before the performance, but our main character (the Dad) didn’t show up.— I wondered if he had gotten stage fright.—— We waited about 20 minutes and asked the brother of one of the actresses if he would be willing to pitch in and read the part with my assistance so the show could go on.— He agreed even though I told him that if they actor who was originally supposed to play the part did show up, I would give that boy the choice of performing.
The audience began filing in and 5 minutes before the show was to begin, the young man who was to play the Dad showed up dressed in a tailored army uniform!— His grandmother brought him because his Mom had to work late at the last minute and Dad is deployed. This boy is very short for his age and has cognitive and physical disabilities that invite teasing from some of his peers.
The cast was over-joyed to see him and he was eager to perform without a rehearsal.— His stand-in accepted that he would not be performing this time but was comforted when we invited him to join us in our next play.
The context of “Too Many Chores” is: Mom recently deployed and Dad had gone to pick up Grandmother from the airport.— The children where sitting around giving the babysitter a hard time about doing homework, when Dad, Grandma, Auntie and Cousin arrived.— The adults were meeting to make a plan to divvy up the responsibilities of caring for the four children of the Lewis family.
At one point during the planning meeting, the Aunt read a letter from the Mom:
Dear Girls, I am so sorry that I am not able to be home with you. I know how hard it must be. But I really need you girls to be strong for Daddy & me. I am fighting hard to keep you safe and warm at home, even though it is pretty miserable here sometimes. But freedom is worth fighting for. I know that you will do whatever needs to be done, even when it’s hard because you are helping me too! I am proud of my girls because I know that you are our little helpers and are brave. Take care of things while I am gone. I love you more than you will ever know! Your loving Mom
Many parents in the audience had tears in their eyes after this was read.— We all responded emotionally to the authenticity and love that was demonstrated through the play.— With honesty and courage the ten year olds shared their anguish, grief and pain as well as their humor and playfulness through writing, set design and acting.
The standing room only crowd gave the children an ovation and recognized the extra efforts of the two boys and nine girls who made up the cast.
I believe this vehicle for creativity and self-expression can help the community to manage during this time of crisis and alleviate some of the effects of the strain and stress of missing and worrying about their parents.
Just last month the members from this Fort, the Combat team, had a tribute to Our Fallen Soldiers for the 32 Stryker soldiers who passed away in 2009.— In addition, during the second week of January, Members of the Air Defense Artillery regiment also from our Fort, were deployed for the 3rd time to Iraq.
Five hundred members of the Stryker brigade from this base have deployed to Afghanistan.— Members of the joint base 5th Brigade, 2nd Infantry divisions are there with an embedded reporter from the Associated Press.—— Many are in Helmand province launching a massive offensive to try to break insurgents grip over Southern Afghanistan: a key drug trafficking stronghold.— The reporter told us that 12 Afghan civilians (5 of them children) were killed in the latest siege.— They died because a rocket veered 300 yards off course.—— The High Mobility Artillery Rockets System fired the rocket.— This sophisticated and pricey system is now suspended because of the error.
In addition to those losses and frightening events, two of our soldiers were killed this week in separate incidents in Iraq and Afghanistan.— One was 23 and the other 20.— As of Saturday Feb 13, 902 members of the military have died in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Uzbekistan— (called the Afghan region) since 2001.— 4,375 have died in Iraq since 2003 with no end in sight.
The children and families on the base are aware of a revised war strategy in Afghanistan that now includes winning the hearts and minds of Afghan citizens by repairing roads, digging irrigation canals and economy building.—— These are tasks that the soldiers are hoping for.— But they are having a difficult job meeting those goals because of all the destruction and chaos.
Back at home; the school continues to focus on the usual activities of elementary school-age kids.— The children celebrated black history month with skits, poetry readings and artwork posted in the hallways.
My favorite of those read to us in their formal celebration is:
“Dreams” by Langston Hughes
Hold Fast to Dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen in snow.
Along with the children and their parents, I dream of a more peaceful world. We hope for a world where children can be with their parents on their birthdays and at important occasions and go to them for comfort and security.
